NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
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is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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