We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He has the fingertips of a God
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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