So drunk its hurt
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
