I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize