Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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