butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
