She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize
