I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You can't special order awesome
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
