Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
