Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
