Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?

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(802): is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you? http://tfl.nu/agyh

Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (1219)
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(517): View more from Michigan

Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.

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(517): Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date. http://tfl.nu/f1nk

Replies (8) Good night (949) Bad night (5328)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.

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(706): I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face. http://tfl.nu/e8qy

Replies (83) Good night (17912) Bad night (2175)
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(858): View more from California

It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.

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(858): It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain. http://tfl.nu/y8ei

Replies (16) Good night (7147) Bad night (1133)
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(805): View more from California

I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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(805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a

Replies (5) Good night (1101) Bad night (2038)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

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(440): I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/ypf4

Replies (9) Good night (2159) Bad night (1018)
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(914): View more from New York

Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

(1-914): View more from New York

You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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(914): Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county. (1-914): You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud. http://tfl.nu/15gl

Replies (3) Good night (2173) Bad night (753)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.

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(413): Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like. http://tfl.nu/c9vg

Replies (8) Good night (477) Bad night (1626)
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(303): View more from Colorado

And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.

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(303): And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked. http://tfl.nu/770z

Replies (4) Good night (2016) Bad night (1017)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn

Replies (9) Good night (1261) Bad night (456)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

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(843): So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff http://tfl.nu/ddxb

Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (430)
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(310): View more from California

Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing

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(310): Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing http://tfl.nu/gwvn

Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (490)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.

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(570): i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0. http://tfl.nu/r5hx

Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (735)
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(302): View more from Delaware

I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.

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(302): I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats. http://tfl.nu/iukq

Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (313)
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(904): View more from Florida

The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong

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(904): The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong http://tfl.nu/o3xm

Replies (9) Good night (736) Bad night (480)

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