There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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