Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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(616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel

Replies (132) Good night (1345) Bad night (30289)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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(636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp

Replies (132) Good night (8626) Bad night (926)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it

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(202): Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it http://tfl.nu/amxw

Replies (6) Good night (4683) Bad night (931)
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(209): View more from California

I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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(209): I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart. http://tfl.nu/dd9c

Replies (21) Good night (7014) Bad night (950)
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(718): View more from New York

Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

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(718): Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober. http://tfl.nu/eick

Replies (13) Good night (6589) Bad night (1637)
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(360): View more from Washington

I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

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(360): I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back. http://tfl.nu/kpg0

Replies (21) Good night (11589) Bad night (1070)
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(607): View more from New York

There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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(607): There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober. http://tfl.nu/pncu

Replies (2) Good night (3100) Bad night (922)
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(909): View more from California

Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

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(909): Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge. http://tfl.nu/2a01

Replies (5) Good night (1821) Bad night (667)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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(708): Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked... http://tfl.nu/0j0c

Replies (8) Good night (2280) Bad night (950)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.

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(413): She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker. (1-413): That's effing brilliant. We should start a business. http://tfl.nu/l4ou

Replies (7) Good night (1933) Bad night (596)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

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(250): I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5qpa

Replies (12) Good night (2241) Bad night (671)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he was once again the drunkest girl at the party

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(610): he was once again the drunkest girl at the party http://tfl.nu/18ag

Replies (5) Good night (2165) Bad night (671)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!

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(317): Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour! http://tfl.nu/4bwc

Replies (13) Good night (1482) Bad night (570)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

The entire state will know me by my boobs.

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(304): The entire state will know me by my boobs. http://tfl.nu/8hqf

Replies (3) Good night (558) Bad night (288)
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(469): View more from Texas

Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.

(214): View more from Texas

That's our motto every night.

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(469): Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT. (214): That's our motto every night. http://tfl.nu/q8qi

Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (316)

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