Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?

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  (405): Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period? http://tfl.nu/qune
  Replies (37) Good night (549) Bad night (1047)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.

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  (757): Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef. http://tfl.nu/i5oo
  Replies (2) Good night (613) Bad night (1060)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

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  (613): Sorry, I don't speak sober. http://tfl.nu/dwuu
  Replies (8) Good night (4214) Bad night (667)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.

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  (301): he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party. http://tfl.nu/uacy
  Replies (15) Good night (4014) Bad night (1194)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....

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  (702): as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor.... http://tfl.nu/g9pf
  Replies (10) Good night (3873) Bad night (1077)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...

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  (703): It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement... http://tfl.nu/l7x1
  Replies (8) Good night (2048) Bad night (1774)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Either way, he made a blog for his cat.

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  (870): Either way, he made a blog for his cat. http://tfl.nu/y9xq
  Replies (4) Good night (1329) Bad night (3486)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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  (248): Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/6hsi
  Replies (3) Good night (1554) Bad night (919)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now

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  (508): Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now http://tfl.nu/n0um
  Replies (7) Good night (2633) Bad night (558)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.

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  (518): The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid. http://tfl.nu/6fga
  Replies (7) Good night (745) Bad night (1230)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.

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  (815): It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles (507): We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it. http://tfl.nu/cujh
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (343)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.

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  (517): My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now. http://tfl.nu/dik7
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (318)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time

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  (973): Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time http://tfl.nu/0f26
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (226)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.

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  (208): We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off. http://tfl.nu/bv1d
  Replies (2) Good night (484) Bad night (137)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.

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  (801): Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat. http://tfl.nu/lo8d
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (326)

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