you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
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I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song