Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.