You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
we're making bets on your personal life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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