You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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