sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize