we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
