Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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