He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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