kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
