This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
