Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can text with my tongue
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
