so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
