im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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