real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
