I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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