True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
zippers are such a cool invention
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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