I think my fart just growled at me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.