Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
my shit smells like andre
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life