I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
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FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.