what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
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She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.