That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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