Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
