If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
