running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
