watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
