im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
then he tried to convert me to islam
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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