I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
