I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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