I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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