Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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