I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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