Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
