you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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