You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize