why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
