Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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