**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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