You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
