I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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