Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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