I like to think it a success when the cops are called
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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