i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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