WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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