we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
