If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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