Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!