Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
