The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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