i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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