let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Randomize
